Chooseday: Stopping Girl on Girl Hate

It's Tuesday again. I didn't post my Thursday for Friday post because . . .

Anyway it's Tuesday and it's my post on things I'm experiencing, if it's news or just things in my life and choosing to see the better side.

Recently the past few weeks I've been experience some girl on girl hating. It's what’s always happening but me and my sisters have retrained the way we react to other more powerful, successful, beautiful women. It came down to it, it all about “just because you blow out someone else's candle does not make yours shine brighter”.

Let's use shoes:

The battle between conservative and sexy (“Slutty”). This I see on my Pinterest. Motivational pins on how you should be free to express yourself as a woman. The very next pins is about being conservative and cover yourself.

If you choose to be conservative, don't come judge a girl who decides they like a spaghetti strap top. Just like she can't force you to not where your ¾ sleeve t-shirt.

This is who this conversation should go:

Black boot: Girl you look bangin' in your red bandage dress. You're a bad bitch.

Red Heels: And I love your beautiful navy cardigan. Slay sister slay!

Why be jealous of other women's success or beauty? Or be nasty if they are not? Especially if we don't even know them!

She's got money, dresses expensively, drives an awesome car and has a hot body. Normal reactions:

• It's her husband's money
• Her clothing account is probably so high. She looks cheap.
• Fake boobs.
• She probably doesn't eat.
• Not her real hair

Just congratulate. She probably has Britney's Work B*tch on replay. Hustling at her career, working like a boss at the gym and bought her own boobs. So what. What has her lifestyle have to do with you and how and why she has it all? Don't be a hater. New Reaction:

• Love your hair. Beautiful style and colour.
• Your style is fantastic. You know how to dress your body
• Your lifestyle looks amazing. I love your car.

Same with the other side. Not all girls have the same budget and WE STILL JUDGE THEM:

• Girl's a mess
• Look at her roots
• She's fat
• Is she going to eat all that food?
• Can't she spend a bit more money on what she looks like?

Again we don't know her situation. Maybe she is one of those creative types who are a bit eccentric. Ever thought that this girl may not have money or don't give a f*ck about what anyone thinks. It's none of your business. Make sure your own nails polish don't have any chips before you criticise someone else.

There is also weird vs. basic issue.

Weird like candy coloured hair, spike accessories, pierced faces, tattoos. . .

• Green hair is so disgusting
• Hello Goth grunge ended in the 90's
• Piercings look so disgusting. They can get infected.
• How can you get a job with tattoos like that

Humans are made to conform and as soon as someone steps out of your frame work of conformity we dislike them. They are ugly and unacceptable.

• Do you know how well the have to look after their hair to make that green last and look fresh?
• Have you ever looked how cool some of those girls' make up is?
• Have you looked at the artistry in their tattoos?
• Tell me you never looked at some of the ear piercings on Pinterest and considered piercing some cartilage.

Then there are the Basic/ ratchet girls. These are the girls who love pop culture and fall into the girl stereotype. I read up on urban dictionary that it's a female with unoriginal thoughts. Are we really going to call out girls who do these “unoriginal things”.

• Don't you like to show your nails after spending time making them seasonal or reflecting you personality?
• You've probably enjoyed some popular music. Even just a song
• Of course you never enjoyed a cup of coffee from a coffee house.

All in all it comes down to accepting yourself. We have to stop hurting each other because it's not making you better.

In the end we are all the same. Different shoes, all the same size. We all have dreams. We all have daily inner demons we battle with. The girl you called basic is dealing with depression. The girl you judged for having piercings helps at a shelter for abused animals. The girl you called fat is dealing with the loss of her mother. The girl you insulted for being good looking was a victim of child abuse. The conservative girl is an owner of a successful business who could offer you your dream job. And the girl with the short skirt lost half her weight and is starting to accept herself for the first time in years.

Don't judge, just love. Give a compliment. You've got beautiful eyes. I love your make-up. Hair is on point sister. What dress are you wearing? It's amazing on you.

Unless you've walked in her shoes, don't be hurtful.

How do you feel when another girl compliments you?

é

Choose-day: Making the best of load shedding.

No one asked for this. For my non-South African Readers: Our Power supplier can not meet the demand for power in our country so we have a “share power” schedule forced on us. I use the term schedule very loosely as there is more of a general time it might go off and on.

There are a lot of angry people out there and I would not want to be their social media manager. I personally love the hash tag Eksdom. Hilarious.

I want to give you suggestions on how to use this unplugged time to your advantage.

Read:

Yup. Sounds super obvi but do it. I realize some people find it to be a chore but read a book your interested in. There are really books out there for every person. Don't even read an adult book. Teen and young adult fiction has become more than Sweet valley high. . . In fact this is what FrancinePascal is writing now:

Exclusive books link

Draw: 

 

Get a B2 pencil, a sharpener, eraser and a book (a cheap one is about R18) and start drawing. Start easy by just drawing your hand. If you want to get good at drawing something specific search and print a how to before hand and practice. Link for pony. Link for Kio.

Many people are all like:”but I can't draw”. You don’t have to show your book to anyone. You don't even have to tell any one you are drawing. Even if you start by tracing and shading the picture or wringing your name in a creative way

Jonathan Harris

Get awesome candles:

Hit up Mr Price home. They have the awesomest range of colours and scents. I have vanilla, Espresso, Cinnamon, Gardenia, and the beachy Miami. Arrange them on a dinner plate. Check their bargain bin rack for single plates or serving dishes. Pudding bowls are also nice

 Feeling even cheaper? Buy a few shot glasses and cute coloured Costas candles. Just R17 for 6. I love the pink and purple. Why have the plain white standard 'We have no power' candle when you can have these pastel wonders.

Beauty it up:

Clean your nails and paint them properly. By that I mean actually waiting for each coat to dry before applying the next.

Do an oil facial with some olive or coconut oil. Do any face mask. You have the time to switch off and relax.

Start a journal:

Buy a really nice pen and start wringing. It's doesn't have to be a diary entry (tho' some people use twitter and facebook for that). I could be for your reference to see who you have changed or for inspiration, like a to do list.

Here are some ideas. Write about things you love, places you like to go or where you would like to be. Answer some questions about yourself. After these rolling black outs, pick a time to write. Every Sunday or before bed or while you are waiting for someone.

Also remember don't only limit your journal to writing. Draw a picture, add an inspirational article. Just keep it positive. Don't weigh yourself down with the deep shit. The world has enough of that.

What are your ways to keeping yourself amused when Eskom is unamusing?

#nowifi #nolife #eskdom

é

PFF ~ Creamed Spinach for Nozipho

This PFF (Post for a friend) is for Nozipho, Who was my co-worker of 5 years. She is also mother of Lifa, whom has become my little brother. (I love that little dude)

 

Nozipho,

Here is a recipe for creamed spinach. I put it for you onto the internet.You can't lose the recipe!!!

250g Spinach (Rinsed well)

1 Tablespoon Butter

1 tablespoon Flour

1 Cup Milk

Salt and pepper

1. Start by melting the butter and add the flour. Mix this together until it becomes dough while still over the heat.
   
   
   
2. Slowly add the milk. Add a bit and mix and a bit more and mix. If you add everything at once the sauce will have lumps. Boil it for 10 minutes.
3. If the sauce is too thick add a bit more milk, then flavour with salt and pepper.
   
   
   
4. Put your white sauce aside and cook the spinach. You can chop it up (I chop it up with the white veins) or you could steam the whole leaves an pull them apart later with the sauce (like my mother) (*note to other readers we steam the spinach in just a bit of water. Boiling it would destroy the leaves and ruin the colour and taste)
   
   
   
5. When the spinach is cooked add the white sauce.

Tips for you:

• It’s not called creamed spinach because there’s cream in it. It’s because the spinach is fine. But if you feel like getting a bit fat, you can add a touch of cream. A TOUCH NOZIPHO!
• If you are lazy to make white sauce buy this from Knorr
• When you are feeling even lazier but some of that frozen spinach
• I usually add a bit of Aromat to my sauce.
• You can add a bit of cheese, especially for my little brother.
• Add this to a boil potato for that potato at Zuppaninni.

Nonos let me know if you came right. <3

É(sther)