Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Chooseday: Stopping Girl on Girl Hate


It's Tuesday again. I didn't post my Thursday for Friday post because . . .
Anyway it's Tuesday and it's my post on things I'm experiencing, if it's news or just things in my life and choosing to see the better side.

Recently the past few weeks I've been experience some girl on girl hating. It's what’s always happening but me and my sisters have retrained the way we react to other more powerful, successful, beautiful women. It came down to it, it all about “just because you blow out someone else's candle does not make yours shine brighter”.

Let's use shoes:

The battle between conservative and sexy (“Slutty”). This I see on my Pinterest. Motivational pins on how you should be free to express yourself as a woman. The very next pins is about being conservative and cover yourself.

If you choose to be conservative, don't come judge a girl who decides they like a spaghetti strap top. Just like she can't force you to not where your ¾ sleeve t-shirt.

This is who this conversation should go:
Black boot: Girl you look bangin' in your red bandage dress. You're a bad bitch.
Red Heels: And I love your beautiful navy cardigan. Slay sister slay!

Why be jealous of other women's success or beauty? Or be nasty if they are not? Especially if we don't even know them!

She's got money, dresses expensively, drives an awesome car and has a hot body. Normal reactions:
  • It's her husband's money
  • Her clothing account is probably so high. She looks cheap.
  • Fake boobs.
  • She probably doesn't eat.
  • Not her real hair

Just congratulate. She probably has Britney's Work B*tch on replay. Hustling at her career, working like a boss at the gym and bought her own boobs. So what. What has her lifestyle have to do with you and how and why she has it all? Don't be a hater. New Reaction:
  • Love your hair. Beautiful style and colour.
  • Your style is fantastic. You know how to dress your body
  • Your lifestyle looks amazing. I love your car.

Same with the other side. Not all girls have the same budget and WE STILL JUDGE THEM:
  • Girl's a mess
  • Look at her roots
  • She's fat
  • Is she going to eat all that food?
  • Can't she spend a bit more money on what she looks like?
Again we don't know her situation. Maybe she is one of those creative types who are a bit eccentric. Ever thought that this girl may not have money or don't give a f*ck about what anyone thinks. It's none of your business. Make sure your own nails polish don't have any chips before you criticise someone else.


There is also weird vs. basic issue.

Weird like candy coloured hair, spike accessories, pierced faces, tattoos. . .
  • Green hair is so disgusting
  • Hello Goth grunge ended in the 90's
  • Piercings look so disgusting. They can get infected.
  • How can you get a job with tattoos like that

Humans are made to conform and as soon as someone steps out of your frame work of conformity we dislike them. They are ugly and unacceptable.
  • Do you know how well the have to look after their hair to make that green last and look fresh?
  • Have you ever looked how cool some of those girls' make up is?
  • Have you looked at the artistry in their tattoos?
  • Tell me you never looked at some of the ear piercings on Pinterest and considered piercing some cartilage.

Then there are the Basic/ ratchet girls. These are the girls who love pop culture and fall into the girl stereotype. I read up on urban dictionary that it's a female with unoriginal thoughts. Are we really going to call out girls who do these “unoriginal things”.
  • Don't you like to show your nails after spending time making them seasonal or reflecting you personality?
  • You've probably enjoyed some popular music. Even just a song
  • Of course you never enjoyed a cup of coffee from a coffee house.

All in all it comes down to accepting yourself. We have to stop hurting each other because it's not making you better.


In the end we are all the same. Different shoes, all the same size. We all have dreams. We all have daily inner demons we battle with. The girl you called basic is dealing with depression. The girl you judged for having piercings helps at a shelter for abused animals. The girl you called fat is dealing with the loss of her mother. The girl you insulted for being good looking was a victim of child abuse. The conservative girl is an owner of a successful business who could offer you your dream job. And the girl with the short skirt lost half her weight and is starting to accept herself for the first time in years.

Don't judge, just love. Give a compliment. You've got beautiful eyes. I love your make-up. Hair is on point sister. What dress are you wearing? It's amazing on you.

Unless you've walked in her shoes, don't be hurtful.

How do you feel when another girl compliments you?

é

No comments:

Post a Comment